It’s fair to say I’ve been in a sulk for the last couple of days after not being well enough to travel to the Bristol Open with my Tallaght Martial Arts club. On the bright side I’m starting to feel a little more human again but as I always do when I’m not able to move outside the gaff, I try to Google the cure to Crohns Disease. Yep that’s right I convince myself that the cure to a currently incurable disease will be found on Google or maybe even Wikipedia.
Well obviously I didn’t find the cure and gave up with boredom after about a half hour, but I did come across some funny blogs from people who write regular Crohns or IBD (Inflammatory Bowel Disease) blogs. So many of their “what not to say to people with IBD” lists are exactly what I go through on a daily basis so to pass the time of my duvet days I made my own list! Any of my IBD friends may relate and the rest of you guys might learn something!!
1. “Here, have a bite of this”. (And in response to me saying No Thanks……) “Oh G’wan, it’s reeeeaaaalllly nice” as you shove it in my face!!
Thanks lads, I’ll give it about 20 minutes and I’ll be hurling that back up.
2. “You’re not drinking? Jaysus, I don’t trust a person that doesn’t drink”
Errr ok then, that sounds reasonable.
3. “I know exactly how you feel, I have IBS – I get a pain in my belly and all”
F**k off right now.
4. “You must have ate something dodgy, I know for a fact you need to cut out dairy – it’s the devil!”.
Thanks fake doctor, if only I had known that was the answer. I’m sorted for life now!
5. “WTF, why are you so flaky? You need to just come out with us”
Soz, but I would much rather spend the evening in my bathroom…..alone.
6. “You don’t look sick”
No problem, I’ll just get you a bloody sick note from my mum.
7. “My uncles cousins friends dog cured his Crohns with…..”
No he didn’t. That’s nearly as mad as me Googling the cure.
8. “You must be stressed to bits, stress is a major cause”
YOU’RE stressing me to bits.